As of this post, I have released my 30th title into the wild, a new story from Normie Dan. And in a few weeks, I will have reached the 10th anniversary of the Transient release, my debut novel. That’s a hell of a milestone, so it felt like a good opportunity to reflect on the journey: the ups, the downs, and everything in between. It’s been a wild ride, that’s for sure.
In thinking about what I wanted to include in this post, a lot of things popped into mind. Some of them made me feel prideful and accomplished. Others made me feel tired and regretful. So in organizing them into a cohesive presentation, it made sense to separate them into the good and the bad. Let’s start with …
THE BAD
Persistent Fatigue
The first thing I can say about the last ten years is that I’m tired. Really, really tired. Gone are the days when a million story ideas were competing for my attention. The possibilities were endless and my “works in progress” folder was constantly inflating. But after years of the grind, I now see ideas for the shallow thoughts they are. Most are terrible. Some have potential. Very few are worth pursuing, and sifting through them is exhausting.
The Dark Side of Experience
Valuable experience comes in waves, and a lot of it is negative. When I do find an idea that has merit, I can no longer jump into a first draft and enjoy the journey of discovery. The dark side of experience is knowing every tedious step from idea to publication. It’s a daunting process, so I have to really, really, really believe in an idea before I put a single word on the page. I have killed some very good stories because they weren’t worth the grind.
Reduced Expectations
Nothing will ever complete with holding the first paperback of your first book. Nothing. That is the ultimate high for every author, and once you experience it, it’s gone forever. Success will lead to greater victories, but their emotional punch will pale by comparison. After a decade in the trenches, big moments that would have made me cheer are now barely consequential. It’s a sad realization, but I accept it.
Promo Permanence
I’ve said it a million times: self-promotion is mandatory and never-ending. That remains true. But now I can feel the resentment creeping in. Sometimes I don’t want to send a newsletter, but I have to. Sometimes I don’t want to apply for another ad, but I have to. In today’s world, staying visible is the same as staying relevant. If I stop, obscurity wins. But someday I have to stop, and I think about that a lot.
The Plague of AI
At this point, I shouldn’t have to explain the devastating impact of AI (artificial intelligence) on creative pursuits. Writing a novel is a long and painful process. But, it gives authors a baseline of clout because readers understand that they learned the craft and bled for the work. Those days are over. Now anyone can produce a novel in seconds. It’s deeply demotivating knowing that everything you write will be stolen and repackaged by hacks.
Yes, publishing is a horrible business. But there are some bright spots …
THE GOOD
Reliable Income
It is very hard to make a living from writing, or any creative endeavor for that matter. Before publishing, I spent a decade trying to conquer the music industry, and I definitely lost money on that pursuit. But as an author, I was able to find a niche that pays me a decent income. It’s not retirement money, but it’s a monthly reminder that real people find value in what I write. Seeing those deposits always makes me smile.
Reliable Fandom
Yes, sometimes I don’t want to write my newsletter. But at the same time, I love to connect with readers who appreciate my work. Some of those fans, most of whom I have never met, have been with me from the beginning. It blows my mind that there are people in the world who view me in the same way that I view my favorite authors. It’s truly humbling and worth every word I type.
Perfect Timing
I am so thankful that I was able to publish most of my titles before the AI boom. I am very proud of my work and beyond grateful for my readers. I can still make the claim that I’m an actual writer, and not some schmuck who publishes stolen content. I can only imagine how difficult it is for an aspiring writer in today’s publishing world. Faced with that grim reality, I would have likely never published.
Freedom to Shrug
The first few years of an authorship are super stressful. When you have no name or following, a single bad review can destroy your credibility. You cannot help but take it personally as you fight to establish your name. But after a certain threshold, none of it matters. The ratings even out and the negativity becomes easy to ignore. I really wish I had known that at the beginning, but now I’m very thankful for the peace of mind.
Permission to Stop
It may seem like a strange thing to say, but after a very productive decade, the best thing it gave me was permission to stop. My stories have been told, so anything else I publish carries zero pressure. I remember writing the middle books of a planned series and wondering if I had the stamina to complete them. I have crossed those finish lines and now write for fun. And the day it stops being fun is the day I walk away.
THE FUTURE
And there you have it, my reflections on a decade of indie publishing. This is by no means an exhaustive list, just the relevant bits that floated to the top. Ten years is a very long time in this industry. I don’t know how much longer I have, but it’s a good reminder of how far I’ve come.
Transient was a labor of love that I never intended to publish. And as much as I rant about the industry, I’m very happy that I did. It gave me some of the funnest and craziest experiences of my life. I have thoroughly enjoyed this nutty ride. Was it worth it? Hell yes. Would I do it again? Hell no. (runs away screaming)
